Mork from Ork and his first Christmas experience.  If you think the Holidays
are confusing, just read this.
 
"Mork calling Orson.  Mork calling Orson...Hello, Orson?  Orson, they have
this amazing festival down here, that everybody gets into, but especially the
stores and shopping malls...What's that?..Oh well, it's sort of an enclosed
walkway where you can go and meet your friends, and smell cookies baking and
buy ice cream cones to spill on the clothes in the stores, and they're all
the same in every city...I think there's an enourmous computer somewhere that
spits them out and drops them in the suburbs right in the middle of a sea of
automobiles that can't move, but they got in there somehow, but there's no
way to get anymore in and...Oh, yes, the festival...Well, it's all about a
little boy, with a drum, and he's born in a sleigh, in some straw, right next
to some chestnuts roasting on an open fire...Yes, it's all very dangerous,
but it's okay because he is guarded by this enourmous fat man in a read suit,
named Round John Virgin and he's standing by a tree with a partridge in it,
drinking something called Wassail...No, I'm not exactly sure what that is,
and nobody here can tell me.
 
"But there's a lady kneeling nearby with a light over her head, and a couple
of sheep and a donkey and a camel and this really strange deer with a red
electric nose.  And a dog sleeping on top of his house while a crotchety old
man is hoisting this crippled boy on his shoulder who is holding a turkey by
the neck saying, "God bless us everyone!"  Yeah, the little boy says that, not
the turkey...Well, anyway, after they sing awhile, they take all these packages
and wrap them up in paper, which they then take right off again and the little
kids play with the paper and the older kids says "Is this all there is?"  And
the fathers sit in front of the picture-box and the mothers collapse on a
chair.  The whole festival concludes 60 days later with an observance called
Visa Card Day, when everybody becomes really serious, religious, and
worshipful.  Millions of people open envelopes and say, "My God!"  Yeah, its
really a lot of fun.  We aught to introduce it up there on Ork...Well, that's
all for now.  Nanu, nanu!"
 
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